my own sweet world

[Nov. 20th, 2009|02:14 pm]

[	Tags	\|	exams	]
[	Current Mood	\|	sad	]
[	Current Music	\|	Stop Crying your Heart Out - Oasis	]

Fail.
For sure.

I am so, terribly disappointed and sad.

[Nov. 11th, 2009|12:28 am]

[	Tags	\|	exams	]
[	Current Music	\|	You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol	]

Frustrated.
So frustrated.
So incredibly frustrated.

Exams.
Epic fail.

W.

And sooner or later it's over.

[Nov. 3rd, 2009|03:38 pm]

[	Current Location	\|	Library	]
[	Current Mood	\|	awake	]
[	Current Music	\|	Iris - Goo Goo Dolls	]

So. I am sitting in the library now, staring out at the amazing view. I just had a cup of sugarless coffee (ugh), but it was worth it. Now i am AWAKE. And ready to do my speech for my communication class, Computing and chemistry for Thursday's and Friday's tests.

I can't believe that my first semester here is nearly over. I mean, exams in two weeks, and then I'm going home in a month! Time flies, really.

(The view is amazing! And it is going to rain. Black sky.)

I'm beginning to love it here (i think, i hope! Or is it just the view and the coffee?) but I really, really want to go home. It's been so long. I'm leaving on the 4th of December, and honestly cannot wait! I have a bad feeling that I won't want to come back! Home is-home! Brilliant, amazing, and never lonely.

But I know how I am- i have a feeling that next semester is going to be pretty good. Something tells me that it just might be fun.

I really hope i'm not jinxing it already.

So, i will go study , and do the things i need to do. :)

Signing off,
Shruti

Busybusybusy.

[Oct. 10th, 2009|12:46 am]

[	Tags	\|	college, exams, life	]
[	Current Location	\|	Dorm room	]
[	Current Mood	\|	busy	]
[	Current Music	\|	You Found Me - The Fray	]

I need more time!

NTU knows how to keep its students busy. And ECAs are really, really catching up. I have three articles to finish in the next 24 hours. Sigh. This is the point when you feel that sleep really is a waste of time.

Also, this is the point when you can actually feel the pressure on your head. So much, so little time, really.

But otherwise, no, including all of this, things are good. I'm finally used to everything, have understood SO much about myself, and the people around me. After a few days of some serious introspection, I am now happy, relieved, and content. Things could be better, but then again, they could be worse. And under the various circumstances, and looking at the fact that I am who I am, I think this is the best it could get, and it is so, so comforting to feel that way. :)

I still miss everyone back home. I know that there are some people back there who are irreplaceable, people who are just too amazing for anyone over here to ever match up to. But it's alright, I guess.

^_^

Today's chemistry quiz was a disaster, but I'm hoping that the physics and computing quizzes made up for it. Hoping. Chemistry, I need to catch up on. And economics! So much.

I think I might move into the library. Makes things easier.

Exams in a little over a month! But after that...Home. Can't wait.

Cannot, cannot. :)

Analyzing. Once again.

[Sep. 21st, 2009|10:45 pm]

[	Current Location	\|	Dorm room	]
[	Current Mood	\|	annoyed	]
[	Current Music	\|	Yellow - Coldplay	]

Right.

i think it's time to do some serious introspection. I've been putting this off for too long.

So. Now. Oh my god. I don't even know where to start.

I think I'll just go now.

Talk about a failed attempt to get things out and down.

Ugh.

:|

College. Now. The Future. Everything.

[Sep. 5th, 2009|01:07 pm]

[	Tags	\|	college, life	]
[	Current Location	\|	Dorm room	]
[	Current Mood	\|	anxious	]
[	Current Music	\|	Over You - Chris Daughtry	]

Wow, here I am. Unbelievable, but true. And obviously I knew that things wouldn't fall into place the moment I got here. Obviously, I am not that naive, or optimistic for that matter. It's just that, after a whole month, I expect a little, little more than what I seem to have right now. As lucky as I am to even be here, and as fortunate as I am to have such a beautiful university campus, amazing facilities and all, I just can't seem to appreciate the place to the fullest extent. For one simple reason. People. No one is an island, and though I know a few people, there's no one who I seem to be close to. Everyone else seems to be so settled in, all of them in these groups having fun. I don't care,really. It's just that to really have fun, experience everything to the fullest and feel at home (Four years!!) you need people. Friends. To talk to, to have fun with. I know that. I had friends, amazing once. HAVE, I mean, but they're two thousand miles away, so they can't really help the cause.

I know that most of this is my fault. This is how I am, horrible at making friends. All the friends that I have now came to me, for god know what reason. But they did, they made the first move, all of them. They were nice enough to do so, and I love them to bits for that. But in a place as big as this one, where everyone seems tp have already made their groups, where no one cares and everyone is so superficial(it IS college, after all), I really doubt that anyone is going to make that effort. So I really do blame myself. But these past few weeks, I really have been trying. For the first time. And there have been times when people have snubbed me. And it hurt. But I am still trying, I know that I have to. I don't want to seem desperate, I'm trying not to seem that way. And I'm not. I'm just looking. Loneliness has never bothered me as such. It's just, seeing everyone in these huge groups laughing sometimes gets to you when you feel so alone. I sound depressed, I know. It's actually not that bad, the place is great! I just know that I need people who I can talk to and have fun with. That's all. And I'm trying to be as patient as possible.

There's so much more to say, but there's so much to do as well! So I'll be back soon, definitely. :)

1 comment|Leave a comment

Hope

[Jun. 29th, 2009|08:33 am]

[	Tags	\|	college, life	]
[	Current Mood	\|	hopeful	]

Well, a lot has been happening, really. And, hopefully, a lot will happen. Good things, that is. :)

But right now, I have SO much to do. So, so much. Of course, me being me, I am way to lazy to do all of them right now. But i will, i will. After a few days of procrastination!

Honestly, I want the next month to fly by. But also, I don't want it to. August is going to be so different. I'll be in a new place, a new country, with new people, and sadly, quite alone. Unless I make friends soon, which is a task for me. But I don't want to ruin all of this with my extreme pessimism, so like last time, i'm going to sign off on a hopeful note.

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. For the future. For the people I love. For everything.

<3

!!!

[Jun. 5th, 2009|06:54 pm]

[	Tags	\|	college	]
[	Current Location	\|	TV	]
[	Current Mood	\|	overwhelmed	]
[	Current Music	\|	My brother watching Disney channel	]

OH. MY. GOD.

I, Shruti, got into NTU!

Shocking. Scary. Amazing!

I hope everything turns out well. *fingers crossed*

This is it

[May. 27th, 2009|11:46 pm]

[	Tags	\|	results	]
[	Current Location	\|	the room	]
[	Current Mood	\|	relieved	]
[	Current Music	\|	Tell Me Why - Taylor Swift	]

91.6 % !!!

It's all over now i guess. Or rather, just begun. :)

This, you've got to see

[Apr. 21st, 2009|06:05 pm]

[	Tags	\|	lol	]
[	Current Mood	\|	amused	]
[	Current Music	\|	White Flag - Dido	]

Just zoom in for the best fairy tale ever :D

Exams, summer and everything in between - 1

[Apr. 20th, 2009|06:16 pm]

[	Tags	\|	life	]
[	Current Location	\|	Bed bed bed	]
[	Current Mood	\|	contemplative	]
[	Current Music	\|	If today was your last day - Nickelback	]

Well like I said last time, I have much to say. On obviously nothing particularly important but lots all the same.

Firstly, I'm officially out of high school. Yay! Though I'm not too enthusiastic about leaving school, which has been my home for so long, I'm still really excited. Of course very scared too. Which brings me to the topic of COLLEGE. Yep. That word that totally and completely seems to freak me out. And can you blame me really? It's like all my life I've been working for this one thing, but now I don't even believe that I can get into college. Seriously. Apart from the fact that the whole college system is completely messed up in India. But that isn't an excuse. Though it really is unfair that only the best students can get into college on their own merit. What hurts the most is that I really used to be one of the 'best' students but after the last two years of - of so much really. Happiness, sorrow, new experiences and even heartbreak- so so much has changes. You won't believe me if I started. I just hate that I had to learn so much about life, so many lessons, valuable as they may be, at such a crucial point of my life, when I really should have just been studying as hard as I possibly could. After the fiasco that was eleventh grade, I really truly tried hard to rectify my mistakes and study in 12th, but I guess it was all in vain. I don't even want to start with how horribly my exams went. And at the end of the two years, I didn't even have what I began with. And do you know what I've been doing for the past two months? Ranting at every single opportunity I get. Which is just sad, even for me. So here's what I've decided. To Stop. And now. I think this whole thing has made me stoop low enough as it is. I am not going to let the last two years mess up the rest of my life. I know how ambitious I am, how much I want to do in life, and this is the best time to begin. There could be no better time. Three weeks are more than enough to sit and mope. Now I am so going to get on.

And guess what I got into the Australian national university. So what if I can't go? It's a great school.

So my battery is DOWN but I still have so much to say so hang in there!

P.S. I love Taylor Swift. In a purely musical sense :)

[Apr. 13th, 2009|08:22 pm]

[

Current Mood

irritated

]

So i logged in very enthusiastically having so much to say and all, but someone conveniently butted in, asked me a couple of questions i so did NOT want to answer, and completely crushed my mood.

Great.

[Jan. 7th, 2009|03:58 pm]

[	Tags	\|	:)	]
[	Current Mood	\|	happy	]
[	Current Music	\|	I Hope You Dance -Lee Ann Womack	]

So right now i'm in a recklessly good mood for no ruddy reason. ok ok it's because of this song I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack. Gosh it is amazing, It just makes me want to NOT give up and work and be strong and happy.

It's great:)

Since New Year, this is the first time i'm happy. Seriously, so far, this 'new year' has been horrid.

Till I heard this song.

(no subject)	[Dec. 18th, 2008\|01:56 pm]
My new glasses are horrendous. Blah.
Link	Leave a comment

(no subject)	[Nov. 15th, 2008\|07:15 pm]
Maybe In another life Another decade Another era As two different people With different thoughts. Maybe then We would have. Could have. But not here In this life This decade This era As the people we are With these thoughts These feelings These ideals.
Link	Leave a comment

[Sep. 27th, 2008|03:30 pm]

[	Tags	\|	life	]
[	Current Mood	\|	crushed	]

In the last month, several bomb blasts occurred in Delhi, Pakistan got a new president, dark energy was studied in France, presidential speeches were made, inflation took a toll, and many, many banks were closed down.

And while the rest of the world has been in turmoil, confusion has hit me hard as well.

Yep. You guessed it.

EXAMS.

It would be rather convenient to skip the whole exam talk and move on, but convenience is something that has to be earned. The exams were an utter disaster, and made me wonder why I was even trying. Hopeless. Horrible.

And I was actually optimistic about this year. Sheesh.

Atleast they're finally over.

I also watched three movies before my physics exam, but then again, we had four days. Not an excuse, i know. But still.

And a really nice one called Bella.

Well, holidays now. I wish I could sit back and relax, but I'm writing the SAT this saturday. So while everyone at school is holidaying in Munnar.. argh.

I think I'll stop now.

[Aug. 19th, 2008|06:49 pm]

[

Tags

college

]

Hm.

How does ANU sound?

Minus the home-sickness,

Okay okay, with the home sickness.

Brilliant, but terrible, i tell you.

Back.

[Aug. 6th, 2008|10:19 am]

[	Tags	\|	life	]
[	Current Mood	\|	geeky	]
[	Current Music	\|	Khuda jaane - Bachna ae Haseeno	]

Yes, i'm still alive, if only barely.

I've been completely caught up in something that's never bothered me before: life. There seems to be no time for anything, really.

Which brings to my mind one of my favourite poems:

'What is this life so full of care
We have no time to stand and stare.'

Terrorism has teken a turn out here: for the worse. I don't understand what's making me act so casual about the bomb blasts, but some emotions can't be portrayed, i feel.

School is school is school. Whirlwind of confusion, as usual.

Oh, and The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand, is a MUST read, i tell you. It's life changing. A breath of fresh air. Also, my last book for i while. :(

I skipped school today, to study. I'm still terrified about 12th, but I've got over the initial fear, especially after doing pretty well in the first two tests. Though everything's still a little weird, I think i'm pulling through okay, so far.

Anyway, atleast I feel useful, with all this work. I'm trying not to burn out too soon, though i fear i may. Let's hope for the best.(!)

Cheers!

[Jul. 18th, 2008|04:41 pm]

[

Current Mood

crushed

]

Terrible. Simply terrible i tell you.

I mean, even English, really??

why?